A New Understanding of Home

Up until September 4, 2019, I had only truly known central Ohio. Born and raised in Columbus, leaving for Granville to attend Denison was a mere stone’s throw away from my childhood home. 

As someone who clings to familiarity and certainty, the idea of spending three and a half months about 4,000 miles from home meant being willing to put myself far outside of my comfort zone. However, my desire to learn and appreciate a new culture while enhancing my Spanish fueled my decision to study abroad in Seville, Spain. 

The song “Into the Unknown” by Jukebox the Ghost sums up well the adventure I embarked on starting at 12:30 pm, September 3, which was an otherwise typical Tuesday for most.

It was nowhere near typical for me. I had 3 flights ahead of me and I had never flown by myself before. I was scared, anxious and overwhelmed.

What was I about to get myself into? I was really concerned about the language barrier, and to my surprise, quite a few people (including the flight attendants!) were already speaking in Spanish when I arrived at the gate for my transatlantic flight.

Although I have been learning Spanish since 8th grade, I felt insecure about my ability to speak the language with ease. While I was utterly terrified at the thought of entering a new realm of existence, there was a spark of excitement underlying it all.

Arriving in Seville was an exhilarating end to a long journey. While still rather scared, I felt proud of myself for taking the first big step into the great unknown. My host family welcomed me with open arms, and I was eager to see what the semester held in store. 

As the days passed, I battled with my first few bouts of homesickness. Of course, it was exremely exciting to be in a new, beautiful country that I had never even visited before. I was presented with the amazing opportunity of living in a vibrant city with so much history. Yet, I felt overwhelmed from being surrounded with so much unfamiliarity.

I heard Spanish everywhere I went, dressed in a thick Andalusian accent. I didn’t know my way around and had to rely on Google Maps more than ever before. My host family didn’t really know what ice hockey was, which is my favorite sport. It was really, really hot and I couldn’t figure out why the locals never seemed to carry water bottles around with them.

I was nowhere near home. 4,021.24 miles away, in fact. This new place, with its strange sounds, breathtaking sights, and incredibly rich history felt so different from home. How could I ever feel entirely comfortable in a place so distinct and far away from the humble Midwest? Would Seville ever feel like home?

I began to realize that home isn’t necessarily a place. It’s more about connection. Sure, a connection to a place can certainly be very meaningful. But before I even left for Seville, my understanding of home began to change. 

A few days before my departure, two of my close friends gave me a bracelet as a reminder that they’re always here for me, no matter where we are in the world. I wore it every day. Each time I looked down at my wrist, I thought of their friendship and how I wasn’t on this adventure alone after all. 

The bracelet was a tangible sign of the meaningful connections that I am so grateful to have in Columbus. As time went on, I started to feel more and more connected to my new surroundings in Seville.

To me, home started to be more about relationships than a particular place. Home was a feeling cultivated by the people around me. 

By the end of the semester, I felt a strong connection to Seville, its people, and its culture. I never expected to feel so devastated when it came time to leave. All of the previous study abroad returnees were right. Even though I didn’t think I could ever be that far from friends and family for three and a half months, I grew comfortable with the unknown. Much to my surprise, I even started to embrace it.

I learned that the great unknown isn’t quite as scary as I once believed. I realized that I had myself and the support of family and friends, old and new, to take it on with me. The great unknown is a world full of possibilities. You have the power to make it yours.

So let go of the world you know. I promise, there's something wonderful waiting for you in the great unknown.